"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts."

– Winston Churchill

Sex Addiction

Sex addiction and intimacy challenges as they relate to marriage and partner relationships are more than moral issues; they present real-life practical problems that can lead to a loss of control in how you behave and how you feel as you engage with others in the external world. This loss of control often results in shame, guilt, and deep emotional pain. Even if you want to make changes, there’s a stigma surrounding the entire discussion of sexual addiction disorders that can keep you from finding the help you need. We’re brought up to believe those impulses should remain hidden or that they can be excused as minor indiscretions. And if you do admit you have a problem, it’s difficult to talk about such deeply personal issues. You might have looked for help and found no one who truly understands the complexity of these issues, or you’ve been counseled on a level that doesn’t get to the core of the problem and so you’ve concluded that it’s hopeless. I want to help guide you through the challenging process of recovery and to facilitate a journey of healing for yourself and those with whom you are in a relationship.

How I can help:

There are safe and effective places to work out sexual addiction issues. My therapy sessions are one of them. You can recover if you are willing to denounce conventional moral thinking that those issues should never be discussed openly. It is those social beliefs that push you into continuing your silence.

In a safe space, together, we will look at old stories and behaviors and discover new ways you can care for your emotional needs and past wounds. My training comes from the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). I am a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and trained to guide you through these struggles and the underlying issues and trauma that feeds and blocks limiting beliefs.

As a CSAT, I understand the intricacies of your challenges with intimacy and your sexuality. You can overcome these painful and delicate components of your life because you deserve to be heard and understood.

"The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection."

– Thomas Paine

Men's Issues

You may have been taught at a young age to ignore your feelings and not speak out about how you really feel; and if you did, you were ridiculed or punished. You were indoctrinated to believe that men are supposed to be tough and independent and that any show of sensitivity was a sign of weakness, and that weakness could be exploited. Many men are suffering deep, emotional pain in silence. Rather than asking for help, men are more likely to swallow their hurt. But, pushing that hurt down just makes it pop back up elsewhere and take on other expressions. Those other expressions might show up as overworking, aggressive behavior, falling into addiction, having affairs, or participating in risk-taking activities. Sublimating the original problem takes on new life … increased stress, depression, anxiety, abnormal or deviant behaviors. These are escapes into darkness far more painful and deep-rooted than the initial feelings that precipitated them. Our rapidly changing social structure and our concept of masculinity seem to be undergoing constant redefinition. Male identity confusion has created an environment where men are losing sight of their needs, dreams, and desires. How do we juggle being responsible, assertive, and strong, with being caring, sensitive, and open? Because we don’t want to air our “dirty laundry” or appear fragile to others close to us, we hesitate to share our frustrations. I understand that for many men, therapy might be considered a “for women only” activity. Some might consider therapy an admission of weakness. I think we know deep down that argument has no basis in reality.

How I can help:

Are you one of those guys who likes to fix things yourself and refuses help from others? Are you used to carrying the burdens of others on your shoulders? Do blame yourself when others close to you fail? Are you willing to consider that it might be time to shine a light on your inner struggles in a safe, supportive place? Would you feel comfortable doing so with a therapist who has walked down some of the same roads as you?

I attempt to help men understand their feelings and the purpose they serve. Today’s world desperately needs men who are well balanced, who live their lives with integrity, have healed from their wounds, and can maintain meaningful relationships with their friends, family, lovers, and themselves. It’s time to show up … be the man you have always wanted to be, looking back at you in the mirror.

Get in touch.