“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”— Steve Maraboli
It’s important to know what you stand for, how you see the world, and how the world sees you. Now let’s focus on this last concept: how the world sees you. I point out its importance because it gives a platform to all that you are and strive to be. It’s the outward manifestation of what is meant by being “a good man.” If all the turmoil, division, and hate we see swirling around in the world we see on the news and in social media is an accurate depiction of the society at large, certainly “good men” are what our world is in need of.
Why It’s Worth it
- When your outside actions match your inside feelings and values, you will experience less inner conflict and generate more peace of mind, and more easily maintain a state of serenity.
- The universe responds in kind when you can express fully who you are and what you want. What you ask for with clarity and sincerity will be sent to you.
- When you know yourself, you can make decisions and choices that serve you better, from deciding what is best for you to eat, to deciding on a career or life path, to finding a partner for life.
- A good man not only fosters happiness and success for himself, but he also inspires others around him, trusts others and himself, and creates a safe place for the people in his life.
- You are more resistant to social pressure when you are steadfast in affirming your values and preferences. You are less likely to give in for the sake of conformity and keeping the peace.
- Tolerance breeds understanding of others. Because you are aware of your own faults and blind spots, you can be empathetic to others.
Stepping Toward Finding Your Truth
- Live every day in search of clues to build your sense of self-knowing.
- Don’t comply with your inner critic. Don’t be afraid of the power of your voice. Let go of the hesitation to speak out for fear you will disappoint others, that you have it wrong, that others won’t listen. See these reservations as only protective voices that don’t always serve the greatest good. Be courageous.
- Be discerning. Train yourself to recognize what doesn’t hold true for you. What makes your heart want to say “Yes?” What makes your heart want to say “No?” You will know in your heart which are truths and which are falsehoods meant to deceive you or convince you of things that serve someone else’s agenda.
- Study the people who speak out and whom you admire. What is it specifically about their forthrightness that you admire? What qualities do they have that make them admired by others? What is their reaction when they speak out and meet opposition or ridicule?
- Each week, pick out the most important thing you want to get across. Plan what you want to say and how you want to say it. Do your emotions match your conviction? Do they reveal an inner fear or hesitation?
- Refrain from crossing the line between asserting yourself and pushing yourself on others. Know that your resolve, calm, and patient focus will hold space and create the intended results.
- Love yourself. The more you speak your truth, the more you will love yourself. You are meant to express yourself and be heard. By loving yourself you are widening the gates of your voice, through which beauty and power flow.
Adam Nisenson is a therapist at Healing Paths in Bountiful, Utah where he specializes in men’s issues and sex addiction. He is certified co-leader in the ManKind Project and is also the Executive Director of the Jung Society of Utah.